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Monday, 21 December 2015

Things You Can Do for $20 Or Less


My friend Dimi and I were driving to a friend's party. It was being held at a pub just outside of town where a band he likes was playing. The place was a popular spot for clubbing, which neither of us were even the least bit excited about. Dimi started this conversation on the drive...

"Why couldn't he have just held it at his house?"
"Yeah, that would have been better."
"It's $20 entry! I can name a hundred other things I could do with that money."
"Go on then."
"Hahaha... seriously?"
"Yeah, I want to see if you can do it. I'll help you out."
"Alright."
We took it in turns and listed them off...


  1. $20 worth of petrol
  2. Have a decent meal
  3. Have McDonalds
  4. Buy alcohol
  5. Buy coffee
  6. Give $20 to a friend as a gift
  7. A Myer gift card
  8. Go to the video arcade
  9. Laser skirmish (we both said it at the same time and made that noise that bros make when when they realise how in sync they are)
  10. Bowling
  11. Go karts
  12. Paintball
  13. Go to the movies
  14. Buy/rent a DVD
  15. Pay for your music you pirate
  16. Stay in some really nasty accommodation
  17. Go for a walk (then we decided that free things shouldn't count, so we changed it to hire a bike and go for a ride)
  18. Go to a soccer match
  19. Register a domain name
  20. Go to the doctor (public healthcare, bitches!)
  21. Go to a karaoke bar
  22. See a show at the Fringe Festival
  23. Donate it
  24. Go to the zoo
  25. Subscribe to a pornographic website (if you were that way inclined)
  26. Have one session in a gym
  27. Take a passport photo
  28. Invest in a company
  29. Buy in to a pub poker game
  30. Play in an 8-ball tournament
  31. Have Foxtel for 10 days
  32. Place a small-to-medium-sized ornament on your coffee table
  33. Strip club
  34. Hide it in the woods and organise a treasure hunt
  35. Fold it into a swan
  36. Use it as a bookmark
  37. Deposit it into the bank
  38. Visit a museum
  39. Go to a trampoline house
  40. Attempt an escape room
  41. Stick it on the end of a fishing rod and prank passers-by
  42. Use it to snort cocaine
  43. Use it to snort paprika
  44. Watch a pay-per-view fight
  45. Get Netflix for two months in the lowest pay bracket
  46. Visit a silent disco
  47. Buy an app for your phone
  48. Glue it to the wall
  49. Bet on some sort of sporting event
  50. Buy a football club membership for your pet
  51. Subscribe to AFL Fantasy Coach
  52. Flash it around to show all your friends how loaded you are
  53. Hire a stranger at a seedy bar to kill your boss
  54. Light it on fire and then run from the cops
  55. Have your fortune told
  56. Go speed-dating
  57. Go on a date while on speed
  58. Send a package overseas
  59. Do your washing in a hotel laundry
  60. Have a picnic
  61. Park in a parking building for about three hours
  62. Go golfing
  63. Hire a golf buggy
  64. Hire a homeless guy to be your caddy
  65. A nice round of mini-golf
  66. Buy an old(ish) video game
  67. Buy donuts on The Simpsons Tapped Out
  68. Pay back the money you owe that guy
  69. So much chocolate
  70. Go to the casino and put it all on black
  71. Place a bit with a mate
  72. Insure yourself on a one-night trip to Sydney
  73. Pokemon Go is coming...
  74. Replace your printer ink cartridges
  75. Go somewhere else to print your stuff
  76. Replace your shoelaces
  77. Purchase cold & flu medication
  78. With creative accounting, you could make that $40 (that's how it works right?)
  79. Dress up for Halloween
  80. Stay in a caravan park
  81. Design a t-shirt with your favourite brand of ink toner on it
  82. Take up archery
  83. Take up painting
  84. Take a (blank) class
  85. Glue something to something else
  86. Try a 3-card monty
  87. Make a wish in a wishing fountain
  88. Change it to coins and throw them at passers-by
  89. Sit down and work out how many unique combinations of coins and notes you can make from $20 (367)
  90. Put gold flakes on your pizza
  91. Fill a sock with coins and cause some damage.
  92. Decorate your work cubicle for Christmas
  93. You can get like 100 ping pong balls for that price
  94. Replace one spark plug in your car
  95. Accidentally let go of it and chase it up the street
  96. Bury it for future civilisations to find and worship
  97. Get yourself a spray tan
  98. Do people still play Farmville?
  99. Get a nice photo developed at K Mart
By this stage we were well and truly at the venue. We handed our $20 notes to the girl at the door and as we walked in, I said "...Or we could just celebrate our friend's birthday."

18 comments:

  1. Aw. Great list. Fun to brainstorm with a buddy. The light it on fire one made me laugh.
    Play off the Page

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It certainly was fun and we haven't yet discounted setting money on fire.

      Delete
  2. After paying that steep cover charge, I hope you all had a good time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We definitely did in the end. The band was great and we didn't leave until about 2am.

      Delete
  3. Hope it was fun for twenty dollars. I could have five drinks at our favorite bar for that price and play darts all night.

    ReplyDelete
  4. And you could add, lose it. Which I have done.
    Great list though. Some I would do, and some not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I lost a $20 note too once. It was an unhappy feeling.

      Delete
  5. Great list! How long did that take you to come up with? How long was the ride?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. By the time we found a park, we'd probably been in the car for half an hour.

      Delete
  6. That is quite a long list and all for under $20 but, your entry fee was a $20 investment in friendship :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah we did eventually come to that conclusion. Stupid ethics.

      Delete
  7. Cool! I'll never be bored again.
    My wife and I both like museums and that's always a cheap date.

    ReplyDelete
  8. That is actually a long list.. I'll go with museum and Farmville :)

    ReplyDelete

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