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Friday, 9 October 2015

Late Bonehead Bloghop: October


A funny bloghop hosted by Cherdo from The Flipside. Go to her blog now. Just do it.

I actually wrote this one years ago - when I was in grade 10 of high school. I had to write an anecdote for English class. I've copied and pasted it verbatim. Can you tell how young I am from the writing?
   I was in Melbourne for a school field trip. We’d been seeing all of the sights the city had to offer and by the end of the last day, we were all pretty tired. We celebrated our last night by having dinner at one of the best Italian restaurants on Lygon Street. The meal was fantastic. I was having a ball with all my mates and pigging out on a delicious pizza. But as the night drew to an untimely end, all that food finally took its toll. I desperately needed a toilet. I excused myself and went in.
   Two minutes later, everything went quiet outside. I wondered if someone had fallen or dropped something, but it quickly left my mind. Another minute later, I was just finishing up when suddenly, all the lights in the place went out. I could tell through the crack under the door that all the lights outside were off too. As quickly as I could, I flushed and washed my hands and burst out of the toilet. The whole restaurant was empty. I sighed and had a look around. The only exit was a door at the front of the room, leading downstairs, but I quickly found that it was locked. I tried banging on it to catch someone’s attention downstairs, but nobody heard me.
   I stepped back and took a look at my options. Maybe I could break the door down somehow? Could I try to pick the lock? If I called the field trip leader, could he come back and get me out? Maybe I would have to spend the night here. There would be enough food here if I needed it. I stepped out onto the balcony and looked over the edge. I was only one story off the ground. Maybe I could jump? Would it still hurt? It seemed likely. As I turned all these thoughts over in my head, I heard I voice from below.
   ‘Hey!’ I looked down to see one of the waitresses staring up at me. ‘What are you doing?’ she said.
   ‘I got locked in!’ I called, relieved. ‘Could you help me?’
   She laughed and came upstairs to let me out. I said my thanks and set off to find my class again. I called the trip leader and told him my story. He couldn’t stop swearing that he’d actually managed to lose one of the kids just coming out of the restaurant.
‘Fine. Are you still at the restaurant? Good. Run up Lygon Street until you get to the S.E.U.K store. We’re all at the ice cream parlour there. Be quick!’ he said.
   So I hung up and dashed off in what I was sure was the right direction. I ended up running for ten minutes before I realised that it in fact wasn’t the right direction. I heaved a huge sigh and turned back the other way. I ran all the way back to the restaurant and then for another ten minutes. That’s when uncertainty got the better of me. As stupid as it was, I turned around again. I kept running until I was back where I was before. Then I stopped as my phone rang.
   ‘WHERE ARE YOU?!’ came a loud, aggressive voice from the other end.
   ‘I can’t find it!’ I called back.
   ‘Just stay right where you are. I’ll come and get-‘
   Behind me I heard someone yell ‘MICHAEL!’ I turned around to see the trip leader running towards me from out of…
   The F.C.U.K. store!
   I felt like kicking myself quite hard.
   I’ll never take that long in the toilet again.

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