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"An Australian version of me. Only younger. And Talented. And better looking. Okay, nothing like me." - Al Penwasser

"Whom must I fuck or pay to get a quotation at the top of your blog post?" - Janie Junebug

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Bonehead Bloghop

A new blogging initiative from the wonderful Cherdo, who resides in a mysterious, magical place called "The Flipside". She invites us to share a moment of real stupidity, a time where we acted like a real Bonehead.


The first time I ever went travelling without my family, I was 18 and had traveled to Sydney with my best friend Dimi. On the first night we were there, excited by the spot we'd found ourselves in, we decided to have dinner at one of the extravagant restaurants that overlook the gorgeous Darling Harbour. We picked an Italian restaurant that had a really nice, warm, classy-but-modern design (and hot waiters). But looking at the menu, I started to have second thoughts. $20 for an entree? $7 for a glass of Coke? What did they take us for, high society? I worked for three cents an hour at KFC, I couldn't afford that! I eventually convinced myself (and Dimi) that if we had come all the way to Sydney, we may as well live it up. No point in skimping out now. So I ordered an entree, a main course, a drink and a dessert. I'd deal with the consequences later.

Well... Turned out there was a very good reason the prices were so high. The portion sizes matched accordingly. As soon as my entree came out - a full-sized bowl of mini sausages that easily could have been a meal on its own - I knew I was in for a rough night. I ate the entree without any trouble, but then the main course - a schnitzel as long as my forearm with chips and salad - came out and that's when it got tough.At about the halfway point my pants started to get a bit tight and the food started to become less enjoyable.

I hate wasting food so much. I'll often eat stuff from other people's plates so that it doesn't get thrown away. I sat there painfully forcing each bite into my mouth, slowly watching the size of the schnitzel go down. I'd eaten the chips and salad and had asked for the dessert to come early. I figured having a Sundae would be a lot easier than scoffing a schnitzel, so it would make a welcome break. I was right, but it didn't make going back to the schnitzel any easier.

In the end it beat me. I didn't even have that much left to go, but I was sure that if I'd had one more bite I would puke. I rested for as long as I could before painfully waddling up to the front counter to collect my bill. $65 dollars. My pain worsened.

The thing is, I didn't really learn my lesson. I carried that free-spending attitude throughout the rest of the trip, I still haven't learned that high prices often mean big portions and that meal is no longer the most expensive meal I've ever bought.

I guess it's a fun lesson not to learn.

36 comments:

  1. LOL!
    If you ever visit the States DON'T do that! Seriously, our portions are so huge your stomach would explode!

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  2. If that's the most bonehead thing you've done, you've gotten off pretty easy - only a tummy ache and an empty wallet. Funny story.

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    1. Well, I have done MUCH dumber things that aren't funny... I wanted to keep it light :)

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  3. lol it's around that time that you wish there was a hungry dog under the table

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  4. Ah, the tribe of the plate cleaners - I am their Queen!

    I'm envisioning you sitting there, full of excitement about the trip and the gradual slow down that signaled the end playing out...the background music is slowing down to a drawn out waaaaaaaaaaaahhh whahhhh waaaahhhhhh....

    Unfortunately, or fortunately, I'm like that, too - we're here and we might as well live it up! I had price-shock in the Bahamas once...

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    1. Oh don't worry, excitement for the trip never waned. Often when these things happen I can see the story forming in my mind ;)

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  5. I would have asked for a doggy bag. Is it tacky to carry a to go box out of a fancy restaurant? I don't pay a whole lot for food. I always tell my husband he's lucky I'm a cheap date.

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    1. Hahaha I think that cute :) It probably is tacky but if I'd thought of it, I would have done it anyway.

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  6. MICHAEL ~
    Well, I understand. Sometimes we just need to "live it up" a little bit. When you're on your first solo road trip (or your first solo trip of ANY kind) that's a good time to dive in.

    Interestingly, though, I've found after 55 years of life that the MOST memorable events are those things that "just happened" - not the events we attempted to make memorable.

    The stories I tell most often are those seemingly random, unplanned things that just appeared to have a life and a mind of their own.

    There's a song titled 'Young Blood' by Rickie Lee Jones that I like a lot. It includes this lyric, which I've often quoted:

    Keep a third eye watching behind you.
    You never know when you're making a memory.


    ~ D-FensDogG
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. Yeah, you're right. Things like my New Experience Challenge have been amazing experiences and great memories, but the stories I tell tend to be of things that happened more organically.

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  7. Wow. The few times this has happened to me, the server's actually been nice enough to give me a heads up before I finished my order. Like, if I ordered an entree and a main course and each was the size you described they'd say, "Just so you know they're all pretty big servings, so most people are good with either one or the other."

    Oh, and what Jacqueline said. Everything here in America is so huge that neither of us eat out very often, because you'll most likely get a plate that's up to 2 feet long, crammed full of food. Enough to feed 3-4 people. I love food, but I want to eat until I'm satisfied, not until I hate myself.

    The Mountain of Food

    (I'm grossed out just even looking at it)

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    1. That plate didn't even look appetising :P I tend to seek out a challenge, so I'm likely to try and eat something huge there just to see if I can. See, still haven't learned my lesson :P

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  8. I would've felt like I had to cram it down as well. Like Brandon and Bryan said, most of our servings here are huge. However, super high class often means tiny portions. Not so in your case though.

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  9. I learned this one the hard way too... but it's learned and that's what counts.

    I finally put up a bonehead post!!

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  10. Oh wow-I could never finish it. I have been there but I would doggie bag it and ask if I could microwave it in the kitchen area where I stayed. I have eaten too much though and felt like a penguin waddling to to the car to get home and zip my pants down

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    1. Yeah I should have thought of bagging it :P

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  11. hahahha, that is so funny. You are lucky you have the physique you do! I'd be 300 lbs if I tried to do that :) Good for you for being a cognizant traveler though, def. smart to just go for it when you're in a new space.

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    1. I think I was a bit chubbier at that stage :P But hey, if the comments above are anything to go by, all restaurants in America have portions that big. You've kept in great shape :)

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  12. Not your fault at all - the restaurant should have been called 'The Glutton' or 'The Fat Hog'. Couldn't you have asked them to put the surplus food in a take-away bag?

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    1. It's like one of those movies where you say "Why doesn't the main character just do this?" and then someone else says "Because then there'd be no movie."

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  13. Oh dear. Mind you as far as bone-headedness goes you got off lightly. There are things in my past that I blush remembering. And would never, ever share.

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    1. Oh don't worry, me too. But knowing me, I'd probably reveal them at some point anyway :P

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  14. I bet you couldn't roll over when you tried to lie down! Now why do I think of I Love Lucy and the candy conveyor belt? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NPzLBSBzPI

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    1. I hadn't seen that before, she's great :)

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  15. I'm surprised they didn't question you. I recently asked for an order of potatoes, then my husband asked for an order too. The waitress quickly corrected us and said "You know an order is more than enough for two?" She got an extra tip for saving us some cash.

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    1. I guess they don't care as much in Darling Harbour :P

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  16. I can relate to your story. Thanks for sharing since boneheadedness enjoys company.

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    1. I feel like that's a load off my stomach ;)

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  17. Ha! We don't do buffets here much because hubby hates the potential germ factor. On the way back from a mini trip though, we stopped at one we passed because we were hungry!!! I saw my teen overload on choices and knew full well she wasn't going to get through it all, lol. She didn't even make it half way through and skipped dessert (unheard of with a teen!). :)

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    1. Aw, it's such a shame all that food went to waste :(

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  18. Ahh, don't they have "doggie bags" in Australia? You could have taken it home and eaten it for a week. Or maybe you were on a trip and had no place to keep the food? I would get sick if I ate that much and probably be near death. Even not eating a whole lot I have noticed my gut getting bigger (until I got a cold the past few days and completely lost my appetite).

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    1. Yeah I completely forgot that you can take it home if you can't eat it all there :P

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