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"Whom must I fuck or pay to get a quotation at the top of your blog post?" - Janie Junebug

Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Michael Moments

Part M in the 2015 A-Z Blogging Challenge

I recently bumped into an old term that I'd forgotten I used to use back in the day. The phrase was "Michael Moments", those weird little (sometimes big) moments that could only ever happen to me. And this isn't just an idea I have of myself - countless times, I've had friends and family use the phrase "only you" to describe something ridiculous that had happened. Here are some moments that have happened in my life that fall under the category "Michael Moments".

  • On my first and only meeting with my favourite author, international best-seller Matthew Reilly, I bugged him into handing me $20.
  • I walked into church one day and walked out with a new ice-crushing machine without really knowing how.
  • I accidentally joined a band, despite the fact I can barely play guitar.
  • After five years of working in my first job at KFC, I quit by accident.
  • I had free tickets to a football game I couldn't go to, so I spent half an hour in front of the stadium before the game trying to sell them. By the time I left, I had twice as many free tickets as what I started with.
  • I once got a papercut on my eyelid.
  • I was sitting on a toilet in a Melbourne restaurant when suddenly all the lights went out. I finished up and walked out... the chairs were up and the staff had gone home. They'd locked me in.
  • I once played two-on-two table soccer and the other guy on my team was Adelaide United goalkeeper Eugene Galekovic. He played defense of course.
  • I forgot my tertiary graduation day. I had to call up work the night before and tell them I couldn't make it in.
  • I did a job handing out samples of yoghurt and brought home 18.4 kilograms of it for free. This was before I had a car as well so I lugged it all home very painfully on the bus. I ate it all within its four-week expiry date.
  • I went to see a cabaret show with my girlfriend of the time where a lone performer dressed up as a bunch of different characters who were all setting up for a dinner party. My girlfriend and I were pulled out of the crowd and sat at a table in front of the stage as guests. At one point the performer went backstage to change into a new costume and I grabbed a bag of lollies from the table, took one and passed the bag to someone in the crowd behind me. He took one and passed it on and before long, the whole crowd was getting into it. The performer came back out and started to get into his next scene, then he stopped and said "...Are you people eating something?" After some giggling, someone sheepishly said "lollies", and that confused him. He went to the table to grab some and pass them around, but when he realised they were gone, it clicked - "Oh, you've got MY fucking lollies!" The crowd burst out laughing and so did the performer. He had to have three goes at getting back into the show because he'd get half a sentence in and burst into laughter again.
  • I ran up all 33 flights of stairs in the Westpac building (Adelaide's tallest building) for a charity event. That night I went out clubbing and crashed at 3am at the house of a guy I barely knew. Then I woke up at 5am and went on a 50km hike which ended at the top of Mount Lofty at 10pm. After that I slept for the next 8 years.

29 comments:

  1. Classic Michael moments. Laughing from begining to end.

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    1. I'm glad my lunacy is as entertaining as I'd hoped ;)

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  2. I'm laughing so hard I'm snorting! You belong in my tribe, lol. I've had a few 'Michael Moments' of my own.... like the time I politely moved aside for an elderly Navajo man at the Grand Canyon, and somehow ended up in a HUGE multi-tribal powwow!

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    1. That DEFINITELY needs more explanation ;) Facebook or blog, I don't mind...

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  3. One has to just look at these as new adventures!

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    1. Absolutely, I love having these moments :)

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  4. Oh my! It's interesting, wondering if someone is crazy - but then to see it all in writing - I get it - "only you" would record it for us to view! "Michael Moments" - of course they are. (smile)

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    1. There are so many times I've been told the phrase "Only you..."

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    2. If you find time I have a BOTB up. If not, maybe next time. No big deal.

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    3. I'l set a reminder for tomorrow morning :)

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    4. Getting back to you so late, but wanted to say thank you!! Okay so now I'm headed to your current letter of the day, (smile).

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  5. It's things like that that make life so interesting! And make for great blog posts too ;)

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    1. This was my chance to tell those little stories that don't get their own posts :)

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  6. lmao getting locked in while taking a dump, so glad I don't use public restrooms to avoid that haha paper cut on eyelid takes some sort of skill. I suppose quitting by accident might too

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    1. Humans are at by far their most vulnerable when they're "dumping". Pray that nothing goes wrong while you're doing it.

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  7. Does KFC stand for Kentucky Fried Chicken? It does in America.

    Ya know I got mad after reading the comments, because every time I thought of a new idea for a comment someone had already said it.

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    1. Hahahahaha aw sorry, that must rustle your Jimmies :P Yeah it does. I didn't realise Americans don't abbreviate it...

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  8. Those certainly are unique enough to be called your own. Lmao @ the free tickets and getting more instead of giving them away!!

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    1. I consider that the most unlikely of all the stories :P

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  9. !8.4 kilos of yoghurt? Was that around the same time you were locked in the toilet? Snorting in rueful sympathy at these mad, magic, 'mazing Michael moments.

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    1. Hahaha no, but it is around the same time I doubled in size :P

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  10. These had me laughing my head off. One more great idea for a regular feature, if you can commit to doing more Michael moments regularly.

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    1. I fear I may have used all the best ones :P

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  11. These had me laughing my head off. One more great idea for a regular feature, if you can commit to doing more Michael moments regularly.

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    1. I think I used up all the best ones here :P

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  12. I don't know what made me laugh harder - twice as many free tickets or being locked in the restaurant! Those were great. Hey, laugh about them now.

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    1. Haha I was laughing about them as soon as they happened!

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  13. Good lord man - these are precious! The last one definitely had me thinking I'm glad this is a Michael Moment - note Mine! hahahaha

    Fun M post - smile worthy indeed. Set my day up nicely - laughter has a way of doing that!

    Sent with smiles, Jenny, Pearson Report
    2015 A to Z Challenge Ambassador
    @PearsonReport

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    1. I love those ridiculous challenges that test you just for the sake of testing you ;)

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