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Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Good and Bad

Part G in the 2015 A-Z Blogging Challenge

My friend Mitchell is a very well-learned man (well... compared to the rest of us). He knows a lot about medicine, physics, biology and is happy to break those things down for us in ways we can hopefully understand. One day he told me some of the science behind exercise.

'Say for example when you're lifting weights,' he said. 'You're straining your muscles to lift them up, and your muscles develop these microscopic tears. Then you have to eat lots of protein to help repair the tears and that's how the muscle builds.'
"Wow, that's so cool," I thought. "It's like a metaphor for all of life."

You see, that's not the only thing that you have to break down before you can build it up. Vaccinations contain a tiny bit of the disease its designed to fight. The disease is introduced to the body and the body is given the necessary tools to fight it off. Once that's happened, the body will always be able to fight that disease. But it couldn't have done it without being given the disease first.

The same goes for relationships. The friends who get into fights will also be the most comfortable with each other the rest of the time. I've noticed that a boyfriend and girlfriend who are happy to pay each other out are also the most loving. This all leads to one simple but important rule for life.

You can't have anything good without first having bad.

I fluctuate on how happy and well-adjusted I think I am, but on the whole, I do like where I am in life. But that's only because I had to deal with a lot of crap first - endless fights, constant rejection and a world where there was no safe place to hide. I refused to open myself up to the world for fear of being vulnerable and for a long time, nothing in my life had meaning.

Slowly, very slowly, I learned what I was doing wrong. I learned to be open and loving, how to deal with conflict and how to understand my emotions. Have you ever wondered to yourself if anyone would actually be sad if you disappeared? I have. I used to think the answer was "No, not really". It was only last Summer when I realised with a shock that my answer had changed. These days I feel happy and well-loved, but that's only because I know what it's like to live the other way.

An old Indian proverb states that "Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." You can tell your child not to touch the stove as many times as you like, but it won't really, truly understand why until it touches the stove and burns its hand.
When you learn a new skill, your brain picks it up by recording every little mistake you make. With each mistake you make, it gets closer and closer to mastering the skill.
Every time something bad happens to you, you'll spend time trying to work out how to not let it happen again. Each time, you'll get a little closer to succeeding.

Each and every bad thing that happens, once dealt with, makes things better. I welcome the bad stuff that happens to me in life. Because the bad moments, much more than the good moments, have made me who I am today.

16 comments:

  1. It's not a great environment that makes a pearl; it's a little irritating piece of sand.

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha now my 9-paragraph speech is superfluous :P

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  2. Funny, I've been thinking about something similar.

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  3. Dolly Parton has a saying about rain and rainbows that succinctly expresses the point you are making. Great minds think alike, I suppose!

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    1. I've often thought that Dolly and I would get along :)

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  4. You are well traveled on the road of wisdom, Michael! Some people never understand what you have figured out.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe because they haven't had such tough lives ;)

      Although I do often speak to people whose situations were FAR worse than mine :P

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  5. I'm with you. My real life experiences have given me insight into beaing a better person.

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    Replies
    1. When you think like that, it's hard to ever have regrets.

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  6. Experiences in life really do teach us, have to go through a whole lot of crap to come out ahead. Knew the muscle and vaccine one too, surprised I remembered that.

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    Replies
    1. A fact like that certainly sticks in your mind :)

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  7. It's like success. That only comes from failure.

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely. That's why I've been trying to do this Fear of Failure thing.

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  8. The bad moments are usually the ones that teach us the most. And as comedian Jeff Allen seriously says, 'Relationships don't grow without conflict.'

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