"I don't think I can continue to be with you if..."
It's been said for a large number of reasons. One partner will say to another that if they believe a certain thing or behave a certain way, they'll have to end it. I'm very conflicted about that idea, because on one hand, we've all got the right to break up with people for whatever reason we wish. yet on the other hand, it sounds like a form of emotional blackmail. A declaration of "If you don't change who you are, I'm leaving."
It may depend on the reason it's being said. I've had conversations with people who have used that sentence before. In those cases, their partners were:
- Watching pornography.
- Play-fighting with the kids in their family.
- Not wanting to go to University and just work hospitality jobs to get by.
- Constantly describing their exes and how great they were.
- In the case of a long-distance relationship, refusing to spend the money and time to come and see them and insisting that they always be the one to do it.
With the play-fighting scenario, two people were in a committed relationship that they were thinking would lead to marriage and kids. But when partner one saw partner two play-fighting, that brought up the issue of how they wanted their own kids raised.
"I don't want our kids to be brought up fighting like that."
"It's what kids do, it's natural."
"Well if you want your kids to be like that, I'm not sure I want to be a part of it."
Perfectly reasonable or mean and unfair? Help me out with this one guys.