"All sorts of entertaining" - Elizabeth Seckman

"Michael and his pals make me wish I lived in Adelaide" - Cherdo

"If I had a daughter, I'd send her to Australia to meet him (and marry him)" - Robyn Alana Engel

"An Australian version of me. Only younger. And Talented. And better looking. Okay, nothing like me." - Al Penwasser

"Whom must I fuck or pay to get a quotation at the top of your blog post?" - Janie Junebug

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Elizabeth's Story

Here it is Michael! Got it in right under the wire (see the lead-in post here).


Once upon a time- as all hot epic poetry begins- a storm brewed in NY. The snow covered, leafless trees stood sentry over the eerily empty streets that only Eskimos would dare to travel.

Inside, the fire crackled serenely, though my brain was as tight as a chick in an SUV with road rage. Trying to relax, I slammed through girlie drinks, wine and champagne to survive my editing woes. The only result was a burp so big, a handsome logger with a perfect beard would have been proud to claim it as his own. 

A voice behind me reflected the belch with a stunned, "Geesh!" 

It was the talking cat. He shook his furry head at me as he said, "I thought the ban on leg shaving was as far as you'd go. Natural body hair really only works for the cat. For you? It's more like a hygeine surrender." 

Dropping my pen and grabbing a bite of chocolate, I asked the cat, "When did you escape Area 51?"

"I heard you needed a kick. That story you're working on- the one about the squealer fan falling for the Raven? Won't work. Even if they can bring down dem cheaters."

"It's a great story. It's truth!"

"It's bound for the round file. The NFL will never let it be published."

"But, but...it's epic." 

And it was. When I imagined the story I saw Books! Libraries!!

"I could bring down the cheats..." I said, my voice going flat and small. 

"Sorry," the cat said as he preened a paw. "No one wants the cheats brought down. Lose your fear of sex and write the real story."

"I don't understand...."

"Yes, you do. Come on, lady- grab that pink corset and coconut bra and stick them on the coach and the quarterback. That's a story that will sell."

"The coach and the QB? They're not supposed to fall in love."

The cat shrugged his furry shoulders. "Make it a threesome with a dragon in a tutu and we can sell the movie rights tomorrow."

"Ya think?"

"I know," said the cat as he walked across the back of the couch toward the fire. "It's about the power of the female bond."

"But," I said scratching my head. "They're guys."

"Not in your story. That's right...let it sink in, and then call the milkman and tell him to bring some peanut butter cookies for your wingman."

There and done. 

Thank you Michael! It was fun :)



The Blurb:

Jo Leigh Harper comes from a long line of trouble-making, white trash stock.
Tanner Coulter comes from a longer line of wealth-creating, blue blood stock.
Jo graduated college top of her class, moving toward a future full of possibilities.
Tanner dropped out of college, trading a law degree for drinking games and one night stands.

A family crisis throws the rich party boy and the poor genius girl together. The attraction is immediate, though neither one is a heart-in-the-sand-drawing believer in true love. But as the summer sun heats up along the shores of the Outer Banks, so does the connection between them. Maybe, just maybe, they can win at love by defying reason.

 
Author Bio:

Elizabeth is a multi-published author of books for people who are believers in happily-ever- after, true love, and stories with a bit of fun and twists with their plots. The mother of four young men, she tackles laundry daily and is the keeper of the kitchen. She lives along the shores of the Ohio River in West Virginia, but dreams daily of the beach. 

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41 comments:

  1. A threesome with a dragon in a tutu - well done, Elizabeth!! That's awesome.

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  2. Replies
    1. Thanks Jacqueline! I shall take my bow. :)

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  3. That made me grin with happiness. You're a spectacular writer!

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  4. That is amazing, and so funny. The cat's right but you have risen to the occasion.
    ("Peanut butter cookies for your wingman.") smile.

    Great story, Elizabeth!! Michael - lucky you!! The gracious host.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Dixie! It was fun and the prompts actually made the story easier to write than having nothing.

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  5. I can't stop laughing. This is HILARIOUS! Bravo and encore, Miss Seckman. You nailed it! (Pun sorta not intended). You must write more humor, as if you don't have enough to do. Love ya, both of ya, Elizabeth and Michael (and a wink for the wingman).

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    Replies
    1. Love ya too Robin! Glad you like it. Humor writing is hard, unless you ask me to be serious...then it's all I've got.

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  6. The banter with the cat is delightful. Always a challenge in writing to decide how far to go with the characters!

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    Replies
    1. Very true! Cool cats are always lovable.

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  7. Now that's MY kinda story! Nothing hotter than a muscular young guy in women's lingerie! Well done!

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  8. A fun read, Elizabeth! Definitely met the bar!

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  9. Bravo!!!!! I saw the NY shout out and it deff made me eep. You really are a talented writer and had me cracking up at the burp line. :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Jax. I thought of you as I typed NY!

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  10. lmao the cat got lots of screen time, felines here like that. You sure weaved everything in, awesome job. Might get burnt on that threesome though

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    1. How could a cat NOT steal the show? It's in their feline nature to be the boss.

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  11. Wow, my suggestion made it into the first paragraph of the story! I feel pretty special now!

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  12. Thanks for having me over Michael! It was fun.

    And thanks to all the fabulous prompts. You guys made story writing the funnest challenge ever!

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  13. Ah, I wonder if there will be family woes since they come from different sides of the track. ;)

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  14. *LOL* Hilarious! I feel like some peanut butter cookies now. Mmmm....

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  15. That was funny! I love chocolate, peanut butter cookies, and a great story!

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  16. Chuckling quietly as I read... what a fabulous story, Elizabeth! Can't have been easy :) x

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  17. I'm impressed that you managed to get all that in there! Nicely done!

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  18. I'm impressed that you managed to get all that in there! Nicely done!

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  19. pink corset and coconut bra. (lol) belch and burp.

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    Replies
    1. Some pretty random things- that's for sure!

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  20. *Clap, Clap, Clap* Love how you managed to get it all into one very entertaining story! Good Job!

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  21. What fun!!! I knew Elizabeth would take your challenge and run with it.

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    Replies
    1. I wasn't really all that sure...was starting to get some cold feet!

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