"All sorts of entertaining" - Elizabeth Seckman

"Michael and his pals make me wish I lived in Adelaide" - Cherdo

"If I had a daughter, I'd send her to Australia to meet him (and marry him)" - Robyn Alana Engel

"An Australian version of me. Only younger. And Talented. And better looking. Okay, nothing like me." - Al Penwasser

"Whom must I fuck or pay to get a quotation at the top of your blog post?" - Janie Junebug

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

New Experience Challenge Week 45: The Rodeo

Two weeks ago, I described the long and arduous process of trying to get to a mechanical bull on Hindley St. It took us two days of failure to give up and find something else. In that time, we'd turned up to the venue twice - once it wasn't even open and the second time the bull wasn't running. We also got locked into a parking garage and had to spend an hour trying to get out. This week, after trying to come up with more ideas, I decided to give this mechanical bull thing another red-hot go.

On Saturday night, I had dinner with half of The Buttercup Gang, Jason's Dad and some of his relatives. The only reason I bring that up is because at dessert time, I took a punt on a dessert named the "Snowman Sundae". I can't describe how happy I was with my decision when it came out.


After dinner, Jerida and I made our way to The Woolshed to try and tackle this bull once and for all. I'd been trying to avoid doing it on a Friday or Saturday night. There are VERY few things in the world that I hate, and one of them is the nightclub scene. I hate walking down party district with people stumbling into you, throwing up behind dumpsters and getting into all sorts of trouble with the law. I hate going into a into a building where the floors are sticky and the music is up so loud that there's no chance of being able to talk, so you've just got no choice but to dance. I'd probably even enjoy that electronic music if it was at least quieter than a jet engine.

But anyway, it was looking like Saturday night was the only option. So Saturday night it would be. We arrived at The Woolshed and got in line. The bouncer checked Jerida's ID. It checked out and he let her through. I gave him my ID and...
'You're not going to get in with those running shoes,' he said pointing at my feet.

Oh crap. I'd forgotten, clubs have a dress code. That wouldn't be so much of a problem if it weren't for the fact that I do too. I'm always in a t-shirt and sandshoes, and jeans and a jacket for colder weather and just shorts for warmer weather. It was warm tonight, so it was just shorts and sneakers for me.
'There's a convenience store across the road. You can get some shoes there.'
'What will I do with the shoes I'm wearing?'
'I don't know, maybe get the shopkeeper to hold onto them for you.' I looked at Jerida and she shrugged.
'Alright, let's try that.' We headed across the road and took a look in the store to see what they had.

What we found was so disheartening I nearly cried. There were two milk crates tucked into a corner by the counter, one containing a pile of high heels for women and one containing black loafers for men. They all looked to be too big for me and some even appeared to be second-hand. Jerida pissed herself laughing at the thought of me trying to pull off loafers... especially with shorts. See, that's another thing I hate - people's idea of "looking nice". I've lost count of the amount of times I've tried to explain that I look tons better in my t-shirt & jeans combo than a suit & tie.
"It doesn't matter. If you're going to a wedding, you need to look nice."
"Okay, well don't put me in a suit! I look nice like this!"
"But don't you want to wear good clothes?"
"THESE ARE GOOD CLOTHES!"

This was exactly why it bugs me so much. In what world are my shorts and sneakers unacceptable, but shorts and black leather loafers are fine? I couldn't bring myself to look that silly.
'Come on, let's go back to my house. I'll change into some clubbing clothes and we'll come back. I hope you don't have to work tomorrow.'
'It's Sunday tomorrow.'
'Oh that's right... The only one working tomorrow is me.'

It was getting close to midnight by the time we got back into town. The bouncer let us in with no problems, but it had gotten late enough for the pub to start charging an entry fee. At long last, we'd made it to the bull. After three weeks of constant failure and setbacks, we found it sitting in the corner of one of the rooms, bathed in red light and surrounded by a wooden fence and a crowd of clubbers. I put my name down and stepped through the crowd. This was it. All that failure had given this moment a certain value. A weight of accomplishment that made me giddy inside. Our three-week story was about to come to an end.

video

Three seconds, that's all it took. It had been both the longest and the shortest challenge I'd had all year. Jerida did a little bit better.

video

Someone else went next who lasted a really healthy amount of time. So I studied what he was doing so I could try and copy it. He was holding the rope as close to his crotch as possible and bending his legs back instead of leaving them straight. I tried again...

video

Okay, I was satisfied. We left the rest of the clubbers to go wild and went home.

54 comments:

  1. You gave it a good go, especially the second time around!

    By the by, I'd like to give your blog a mention, if you don't mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha thanks!

      Of course I don't mind, that would be great!

      Delete
    2. And she did, so I came to visit. Thank you - and her. I am smiling so widely my face is starting to ache.
      Too much fun is nearly enough.

      Delete
    3. Aw, thank you Child! Glad you enjoyed it!

      Delete
  2. Have you ever seen the movie "Urban Cowboy" with John Travolta? Yeah, me neither.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha you're right, I haven't. Do I look like him?

      Delete
    2. Haha. Maybe a little, I haven't seen anything about that movie in a long time. Here check this out and decide for yourself http://youtu.be/Po3ZKwAHvOA

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    3. Not even close. But that movie looks like a hilarious two hours on the couch.

      Delete
  3. Lol...well at least no one can call you a quitter!!! I see Australia isn't all that different to NY with the party scene. I try to avoid that now too...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh really? Was having a child the point where you slowed down?

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    2. Um, maybe?? lol no, acutally maybe a couple years before that. It just gets old very quickly...

      Delete
  4. Hey, I've been to the Calgary Stampede Rodeo and from what I've seen, I think you're ready for the Big Time, buckaroo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll make sure to put my name down at the next one ;)

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  5. The Snowman Sundae looks delightful! :-) Well, you had to go through a lot of trouble just for a few seconds of excitement. Haha! At least now you can say that you've done it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it makes me feel a bigger sense of accomplishment knowing how hard it was to get there.

      Delete
  6. I don't like the nightclub scene either, and I'd never be able to ride a mechanical bull because I have a rod in my back, but I always thought it looked like fun. :)

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    Replies
    1. Ah yeah, you have to move your hips alot on those things. I'd be interested to know how you got a rod in your back.

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  7. Great story!
    And that's no bull!
    NOTE: The manager of 'Penwasser Place' would like to apologize for that predictable, tired pun. The foul miscreant has been sacked.
    NOTE following the NOTE: On second thought, the aforementioned miscreant is the only one who posts the ghastly content on 'Penwasser Place.' So...never mind.
    NOTE following the NOTE following the NOTE: Too bad it was a bull and not a cow. That would have been an udder scream.
    NOTE following the NOTE following the NOTE which followed the NOTE: We sincerely apologize.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, there's room on my blog for the role of awful pun-maker, so you may as well fillet!

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    2. I know you want to, I heard it through the bo vine.

      Delete
  8. Ugg hate the nightclub scene at my scene. Finally made it in and gave it a go, was it worth the 3 seconds and like 7 seconds the second time haha, at least you improved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There was a little counter at the entrance that said 10 seconds on the second go. Still worth it ;)

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    2. Nothing wrong with a perfect 10

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  9. That bull dumped you without even jerking its rump into the air! Maybe you needed to get more horizontal. Have you tried the smart casual look - t-shirt with a suit jacket?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe if I owned a suit jacket I'd give it a go. At the moment I have one long-sleeved shirt which I think I look good in, but only if I roll the sleeves up to my elbows and leave it untucked.

      Delete
  10. Ride 'em, cowboy! You did much better the second time, and with one arm swinging in the air -very suave. Nicely played. I'm glad you finally got to ride. Your strategy was perfect too. Keeping your hands close to your crotch is always a safe bet.

    Cheers to you, Michael. =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree, I should use that strategy more often. While playing baseball for example.

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  11. Now you've done it. I'm glad you're satisfied. We all need to try some things at least once.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love your thirst for new adventures! I have always wanted to try riding one of those bulls, but like you, don't do the clubbing/bar scene. You sure got your 8 seconds of Glory on your second ride. Way to go! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was expecting wild applause when I got off, but no one was interested :P

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  13. I love that you kept getting back in the saddle, and didn't give up! Between pole dancing, improv, and mechanical bull riding you've been incredibly brave! Looking forward to your next adventure, and I hope it doesn't involve a tightrope!

    Julie

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  14. Dang...you could get hurt on those things!!! I'd much rather have seen you in those high heels for women. [just kidding!!]

    I'm here from Jacqueline's blog where she has a good post about you and your blog.

    Enjoyed my time here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...but on second thought you could get hurt in high heels too! ;-)

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    2. Oh absolutely. I don't know how women do it.

      Glad you enjoyed your stay, we're offering a 30% discount to all return customers, so keep that in mind ;)

      Delete
  15. I went to a rodeo once once. It was in Wyoming. We went there for a late honeymoon. It was pretty fun!

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  16. The thing that cracks me up about so many of your challenges is that there seems to always be some sort of road block or unexpected side event, ha ha. I think it's INSANE that you can't wear running shoes into a club and they would expect you to buy some nasty loafers and that would solve things. Dumb.

    But you did a great job on the bull! Well, the second time, ha ha. I'm glad you tried again, after all that work to get your butt on that bull!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's so frustrating!! The clothing thing that is, not the roadblocks. The roadblocks give me good stories for the blog ;)

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  17. Jacqueline said to pay you a visit, so here I am. Your blog is so upbeat and so much fun! I'll definitely be coming back.

    I grew up in Texas, and when I was very, very young, I dated a guy who rode real bulls in rodeos.(I'm about as far from a cowgirl as anyone could be, so I consider that evidence of at least a part of my youth that was seriously misspent.)

    If you haven't seen Urban Cowboy yet, you really should. It reflects the country & western music club culture fairly accurately. It was filmed at the original Gilley's in Houston. I'm from Fort Worth, Texas, and one of our dubious claims to fame is a country & western music club called Billy Bob's that's over twice as big as the old Gilley's. It is nicknamed "The World's Largest Honky Tonk," covers 127,000 square feet, accommodates over 6000 people and hosts live bull riding contests on weekends. Crazy, huh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, that sounds ridiculous! If I'm ever in Texas, I'm going to have to check that out ;)

      I wouldn't call that boy time misspent, but that's because I compulsively seek out novelty :P I find it educational ;)

      Delete
  18. I too love your adventures' invariable detours, and like you, neither of us are big on clubs. Or the dress codes, which I would fail in every way at any given point in time. Especially now. Don't ask. It's best if you don't know.

    I've never ridden a mechanical bull, but I have been a passenger in a very poorly maintained car with blown shocks... which I imagine feels about the same on your buttocks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now ALL I want to do is ask.

      I imagine the car seats would be worse, because you're on them for a lot longer than 10 seconds.

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    2. Also, instead of falling off onto soft padding, you get thrown into a metal door. Or slam your head into the ceiling. I'm still certain I have brain damage from that last excursion...

      Oh, and I'm a full time writer that works from home and I like to be comfortable. That's all I'm sayin'.

      Delete
  19. LOL. My husband did that years ago and lasted for a while. He was sore everywhere for days. Those guys who do that for real are crazy.

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    1. I know! Even 8 seconds for them is incredible :P

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  20. I always wanted to try the mechanical bull. My daughter tried one at the fair but they were very slow and merciful on her because she was a kid. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not me, I'm a deep-end kind of guy. 'Sir, for your first time, I think you should-' 'I don't care what you think I should, crank it up!'

      Delete
  21. My hubs says it's mostly in how you distribute your body weight as the bull moves. It goes forward, you go back. Go forward with it, and gravity works against you.

    That snowman is adorable! Excellent choice.

    Also not into clubs. Ditto on all your reasons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I worked that out the second time ;)

      I know, I want another one!

      Delete
  22. that dessert looks awesome! Oh so cute! and so funny about your dress code, hahah.

    Riding Bulls is pretty hard! I don't feel up to the task anymore with an audience, but I sure loved it in my early twenties :)

    ReplyDelete

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