"All sorts of entertaining" - Elizabeth Seckman

"Michael and his pals make me wish I lived in Adelaide" - Cherdo

"If I had a daughter, I'd send her to Australia to meet him (and marry him)" - Robyn Alana Engel

"An Australian version of me. Only younger. And Talented. And better looking. Okay, nothing like me." - Al Penwasser

"Whom must I fuck or pay to get a quotation at the top of your blog post?" - Janie Junebug

Friday, 31 January 2014

New Experience Challenge Week 4: Gourmet Glaze and...

Testicular self examination.

Sorry to spring it on you like that. During the week I spent one particular morning reading articles about sexual health and relationships and I came across this one article called 'How to Check Your Balls'. Well, I had to check that one, didn't I? It was an article on testing yourself for testicular cancer. Apparently, unlike most cancers, testicular cancer hits men when they're younger rather than older, with those most at risk being aged between 20 & 40. So we should be testing ourselves regularly between those ages.

The way to do it is by grabbing one testicle with your thumb at the top and your index and middle finger at the bottom. Then you roll them around, feeling the texture of them and checking for any inconsistencies. I tried it. It tickled. So much.

I couldn't stop laughing the whole time. I doubt I checked it very thoroughly at all. The next thing to do is check the epididymis, which is the pea-sized, comma-shaped tube that carries the sperm. I had no idea where to find it, so I kept feeling around for it, pushing way too hard in order to find it. I ended up walking around for a week with a psychosomatic pain in my left nut.

Despite my incompetence at it, I'll probably check again every month or so. I encourage you to do the same. If you're male. Don't worry otherwise.

Uh uh uh... No pictures for this one.

However, I wanted something a little more than that to write about this week, so on Friday I went out to lunch in town with some friends. After a while they all had to leave to go back to work or uni etc... until it was just myself and my friend Kelsey left. We were walking around town looking for something to do and Kelsey suggested going to Gourmet Glaze.

Now for anyone reading from outside Adelaide or outside Australia, Gourmet Glaze is a company very similar to Krispy Kreme. It's very sickeningly delicious donuts that taste a large amount like guilt. But even though I'm quite careful about what I eat, I hadn't eaten there before, so that's where we went. We got a six pack to share between us. If I remember rightly, the flavours were original, blueberry, cookies and cream, caramel, vanilla and cheesecake. The blueberry, cookies and cream, caramel and cheesecake were all cream-filled. We tore each donut in half so we could have a taste of all of them. The cream-filled ones oozed out over our hands and we looked at each other with genuine fear in our eyes.

We took a bite each of the original flavour and the whole world stopped. My senses died down and I couldn't hear anything but sugar. It was the single scariest moment of my life. Or anyone else's for that matter. When I finally figured out where I was again, I looked at my donut and then looked at Kelsey and said
'...Well that's one bite down.'
It was meant to be the most boring one. I still had to work my way up to the cheesecake flavour. The rest of the event is a blur, but apparently we managed to finish the box. I felt so bad afterwards that I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the week.*




*That's not actually true. I had a pretty big dinner that night.

2 comments:

  1. Well for girls they have to get used to breast examinations. Ya nothing embarrasses me. I grew up with 8 nurses in my family, and my Dad always jokes about this kind of stuff. We talked about checking yourself often in my family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a really good environment to grow up in :) I also suspect you've much less problem with body fluids than others do.

      Delete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Share This Page

Any part of this blog may be reproduced or distributed, providing credit is given to the original author.